After reading former Bad Girl Tanisha Thomas’ Instagram post I couldn’t help but think about how many of my close friends could relate.


In our early 30s it seems like everyone has been hit with the baby bug. That time you hear about on TV when a woman’s biological clock starts ticking and she’s suddenly inundated with maternal feelings and begins to long for a family. In this day and age despite what Teen Mom may be showing these past few weeks with their alums pregnant for a second time, women have been having children later in life usually after establishing their careers.

The idea of Prince Charming becomes almost an obsession as women wonder when will hers arrive or does he even exist? For most women the latter proves true and they are then faced with the decision to like Tanisha suggests, just find a good co parent or for others just a sperm donor figuratively and/or literally. Having myself been fortunate enough to still be with my HS time “sweetheart” and now have baby #2 on the way I am usually barred from such conversations. Scoffed at because I “don’t get it”. I’m unfortunately “one of them” in this case. One of those bitches that somehow found a man settled in and started a family. But I mean, I get it.

The topic of marriage and motherhood sparked an interesting conversation amongst my FB mom group. Is not having a husband and children equal to not finding success in life? Do you have to be a mom and wife to be considered successful? Surely I thought in this “girls run the world” day and age women didn’t truly believe that success and failure was to be measured by the antiquated belief that a woman should be a wife and mother? Well, actually they believed that a wife wasn’t even part of the equation. But being a mother, as one mom said was her greatest success. No amount of her Ivy League degrees or the fact that she had a beautiful marriage could compare to the success and accomplishment she felt as a mother. A beautiful and powerful statement, I couldn’t help but agree that through becoming a mom, my son had become my greatest triumph.

But what does that mean? Are we as women as successful in education and business as we are, left hollow without being a mother? Women like Oprah, who is arguably the most successful and powerful woman of our time, opt not to have children. Yet most 30 something’s in today’s age long to become moms. Of course it all comes down to personal beliefs and preference but the masses seem to feel like you cannot reach the pinnacle of womanhood without having been a mom. And what does it suggest that being a wife is now not a necessity in becoming a mother? As more and more women turn to sperm donation, single parent adoption, and just searching for a co parent what does that mean for the family dynamic?

What do you think? Do you have to become a mom to be successful? Is becoming a wife just as important in the measure of success or is it no longer part of your fairy tale?

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