So how did I get here? My journey to the mom blogosphere started out I’m sure like most others…by mistake.
The beau and I have been together forever, well what seems like forever, almost 10 long years. 9 of those I’ve been on the pill. Not just any pill either, THE pill, Yasmin. Yup! The same one that you see on television with a million different law firms and the guy with the doom in his voice that says, “Have you or a family member been hurt using Yasmin…” No I’m not saying I was hurt using the pill but the commercials didn’t make me feel too good about being on it for all those years, so I periodically took “breaks.” These breaks were of course added to my usual routine of forgetting to take them and doubling and tripling up in hopes of not having to start all over with a new pack or worse yet of course actually getting pregnant. The cycle continued like that. And it worked. That is until it didn’t.
Fast forward to last year, I think, I’ve been pregnant for so damn long I really don’t remember if it was this year or last. It had to be last, right? I think so, anyway fast forward to September – the birthday month. I had too much fun, way too much. Part of the extravaganza this year was a trip to the Bahamas. Just he and I and the all inclusive Bahamas. I still remember the night. In fact we both do really, which is creepy and weird. I came back to the states with two things I didn’t ask for, a tan and a pregnancy.
I went to the GYN shortly after I returned to get some more of my maybe life threatening pills and she chuckled at me and said I was pregnant. I thought she was crazy, 1. Because she actually chuckled at me and 2. Because what she was saying didn’t make sense. Of course it did, unprotected sex can lead to babies, but I’d done this before! Surely she was wrong. So I told her to “take it in blood.” Just like that, seems like a strange thing to say now that I’m actually writing it, maybe I took it out of context from a movie or something, but that’s what I said. Annnnnd she did. After some confusion she verified I was indeed pregnant.
So that’s my story. That is how I ended up your beloved Milf to be. One minute I was having watered down drinks on the beach and the next I had to hold on to my sink just to get off of the toilet. So I guess the title kind of sums up the moral of the story, if you’re not really trying to get pregnant it may not be the best idea to take breaks from your birth control, who knew…